Finding Grace | Angie Pandhi
I am not a writer, but rather a talker. I connect with people through my smile, eye contact, and hugs so my attempt to convey what God has been teaching me—in written form—is difficult. It causes me to look within myself.
As tears stream down my face, it becomes clear. It is my heart that has changed. Not just changed, but broken. Jesus has broken my hurting heart so He can heal it and teach me to trust Him—and not only sometimes, but all the time.
Having experienced trauma and loss of many loved ones throughout my life, I grew anxious, insecure and finally detached, unable to fully open up and let others in. What’s the point? I’m certain they’ll hurt me one way or another. Besides, I have Jesus, so what more do I need? Those were the distorted thoughts I kept circulating to protect myself.
With storms brewing in every direction, I see my life unraveling again. God has made it clear I need Jesus and His grace more than ever. And I need to forgive and learn how to trust again. Jesus has been trying to get my attention by showing me it’s time to let go so I can do something to further His kingdom.
Sunday Nights Bible Study has provided the perfect platform for me to figure this out as I began to examine my life and learn about other Christians around me. In spite of the age differences, I realized we are all the same. Our struggles are real and we are all doing our best to get through. It has become evident that I need these precious people, and they need me—a concept I can barely grasp. What had begun as a small group of strangers has become family who demonstrates love through caring hearts and powerful prayer. We are doing life together.
Passion and love for Jesus at Sunday Nights is infectious and Pastor Josh’s messages are life changing. The dimly lit string lights create a safe and intimate environment where I am free to worship with arms held high or broken on my knees. Either way, I know I am safe and surrounded by those whose love for Jesus is undeniable. And not just for Jesus, but for me. They actually love and care for me. My heart is overflowing and it yearns for Sunday Night where I am able to check in and see how everyone is doing.
My capacity to love, care, trust, and pray for those around me has grown exponentially and it brings me such joy to pray for this family throughout the day, everyday.
As my broken heart heals, my thirst for Jesus is all consuming and I cannot get enough. God is working all things for His good and as I continue to let go and trust in Him, I am reminded His grace is sufficient for me